


a spoonful of diamonds

by ProfessorESP



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Restaurant, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, F/M, Ft. Raven's extremely unfortunate history with boys, Texting, crackship kayak's first voyage, long time shipper first time caller, superboy is not the hot one & ill fight greg weisman in an empty parking lot to prove it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 18:32:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14526609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorESP/pseuds/ProfessorESP
Summary: Concept: mundane au where Malchior is Raven’s shitty ex who corners her in a restaurant and Kaldur is a line cook who pretends to be the boyfriend she’s waiting for so he can smuggle her into the back room “until his shift ends.” The twenty minutes it takes for Malchior to finally leave are spent with Kaldur making little glances at her every time he has a spare moment (just to check she’s okay. Obviously) while threatening to dump sauce on all the co-workers who tell him to give her his number, and Raven repeatedly making accidental eye contact with him as she recounts to the Titans group chat how this extremely beautiful man saved her from The Dragon and everyone tells her to make out with him because they’re terrible friends.





	a spoonful of diamonds

**Author's Note:**

> Two disclaimers: every Teen Titans/Young Justice crossover I write has TT!Robin be Dick Grayson’s older brother Robert, nicknamed Rob and/or Robin. Also, I’ve never been in a restaurant kitchen for longer than .2 seconds.

Raven gripped her rescuer’s arm like a lifeline the whole minute and a half it took to walk to the kitchen, listening desperately to make sure Malchior hadn’t decided to follow them after all. The chef pushed the door open, sending about half the kitchen staff tumbling to the floor as he led Raven in before him. The door swung shut and she finally managed to breathe. One of the waitresses led her over to a little alcove full of serving trays as the staff grilled the chef that had helped her. As soon as her heart slowed to the same pace as her thoughts, she whipped her phone out of her purse and opened her friends’ group chat.

> **Raven:**  I just got rescued by the most handsome man in the world?
> 
> **Cyborg:** what did i do
> 
> **Raven:** Malchior showed up during my date
> 
> **BB:**  OH SHIT
> 
> **Raven:**  I guess he saw me in the window, because he pushed straight past the hostess and went straight to my table
> 
> **Raven:**  I was in a booth so he just stood at the end of the seat so I couldn’t get out
> 
> **Starfire:**  you should have let us kill him  
>  ****
> 
> **Robin:** ………………………star…………………………………  
>  ****
> 
> **BB:** she’s not wrong  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:** David was in the bathroom and when he walked out he bolted before Mal even saw him  
>  ****
> 
> **Cyborg:** dump him  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  Thanks I was going to  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  I guess the hostess had gone to the kitchen when Mal showed up because one of the cooks came out
> 
> **Starfire:**  is this the world’s most beautiful man?  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  Yes  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  He came up to my table and insinuated that he was my boyfriend and I was waiting for him to get off work, and offered to let me sit in the kitchen for the rest of his shift  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  Which is where I am right now.  
>  ****
> 
> **Starfire:**  did you get his phone number?????????  
>  ****
> 
> **BB:**  ABSOLUTELY get his phone number  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  I DON’T KNOW HIS NAME I’M NOT ASKING HIM FOR HIS NUMBER  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:** Anyway, he has these super intricate serpent tattoos that go all the way down to his wrists  
>  ****
> 
> **Robin:** siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  They are.   
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:** When Mal wouldn’t let me out of the booth he pushed his sleeves up and asked if there was a problem  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:** He went from harmless caring boyfriend to “I will fuck you up outside the bar” in 0.3 seconds just by shifting his weight  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  I saw all the blood rush out of Malchior’s face. It was incredible.  
>  ****
> 
> **Robin:**  wait what restaurant is this  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:**  The Greek one in the town center  
>  ****
> 
> **Robin:** brb gotta check something

Raven looked up and caught The World’s Most Beautiful Man staring at her. They held eyes for a second, then both looked frantically away as her text notification went off and the pan he was holding burst into flames. 

> **BB:** dude i think my cousin works there  
>  ****
> 
> **Starfire:**  if raven does not ask for his number PLEASE retrieve it for her
> 
> **BB:**  you got it boss
> 
> **Raven:** SHIT he looked at me
> 
> **BB:**???????
> 
> **BB:** good look or bad look

The World’s Most Beautiful Man flipped over a cut of meat and looked over at her just in time to catch the tail end of her glance. Raven hunched further over her phone, pulling her skirt up onto the chair as a waitress passed by her with a plate of appetizers.

> **Raven:** How am I supposed to tell if it’s a good look  
>  ****
> 
> **Starfire:**  did you wear your long lengha skirt with that cropped blouse
> 
> **Raven:**  Yes? why
> 
> **Starfire:**  then he Is looking you up
> 
> **Raven:** Translation please?
> 
> **Cyborg:**  jfc rae he’s checking you out
> 
> **Raven:** HE IS NOT

She peeked through her hair and caught The World’s Most Beautiful Man staring at her legs.

> **Raven:** Shit I think he is  
>  ****
> 
> **Raven:** I don’t actually know what to do in this situation
> 
> **Robin:** hey is the world’s most beautiful man black with a bleached undercut
> 
> **Raven:**  Yes??? How do you know that
> 
> **Robin:** he’s friends with Dick
> 
> **Starfire:** is this the friend whose mother looks like Beyonce

Robin posted a picture in the chat of The World’s Most Beautiful Man wearing a tank top that showed off his tattoos, which spiraled up his arms like a caduceus and disappeared into his shoulders. 

> **BB:** hol y shit you weren’t kidding  
>  ****
> 
> **Starfire:** he is so beautiful
> 
> **Robin:** no yeah that’s Kaldur, his entire family is ridiculously good looking 
> 
> **Cyborg:** Raven, you’re my sister and I love you, but if you don’t get this boy’s dick I’m going to disown you
> 
> **Raven:** LEAVE ME ALONE
> 
> **Robin:** you really should ask him out
> 
> **Robin:** he’s a good guy 
> 
> **BB:**  already outpacing the rest of your dating history
> 
> **Raven:** Shut up garfield
> 
> **BB:** BUT AM I WRONG

“Hey.” 

Raven looked up to see the hostess, dressed in a faux tux jacket and a short skirt. 

“That guy finally left,” she said. Raven breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you need someone to walk you to your car?”

“My date drove me,” she said. The hostess winced. “I could call a friend, but they’ll take a bit to get here.”

“Take your time. We’re not going to rush you.” She grinned, first at Raven and then at someone behind her, before heading back to the front. Raven turned around to see Kaldur come over, sans apron, the shirt of his uniform slightly undone and the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. 

“I don’t think I caught your name,” he said, leaning against the table.

“It’s Raven. You’re Kaldur, right?” She smirked a little as his eyebrows went up. “I’m a friend of Robin Grayson’s.”

“Ah. Kaldur’ahm Jackson,” he said with a nod. “My shift just ended. If you need a ride home, I’d be happy to give you one.”

“I’d like that,” she said, fighting back a smile. “Maybe we could grab dinner on the way.”

“Ah, now you have my attention,” he said with a grin. “I can get my car and meet you out front.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said, and glanced back down at her phone as he left.

> **Robin:** seriously, you have the worst taste  
>  ****
> 
> **Cyborg:**  from now on raven’s not allowed to date anyone who can’t provide three character witnesses and survive Star’s shovel talk
> 
> **Starfire:**  was I not already a rule?
> 
> **Cyborg:**  yeah but now it’s official
> 
> **Raven:**  Update: we’re getting dinner and then he’s driving me home
> 
> **Starfire:**  :D
> 
> **Robin:**  *eyebrow waggle*
> 
> **Cyborg:**  niiiiiiiiiiice
> 
> **BB:** GET IT 
> 
> **Raven:**  I hate this fucking family 


End file.
